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December 10, 2010 / gracelesswonder

Merry Christmas! <3

Wow – I don’t know what got in to me last time! It’s like my Christmas spirit got ahold to some cheap vodka and started crying in the corner of the bar!

Have no fear – it’s back now! ūüôā

Granted, I’m still broke, still don’t have the tree up (actually, I don’t have the¬†darn thing¬†yet), house is still a mess, still having the medical issues, yada yada yada.

But it’s Christmas! I love this time of year – I love the cold crisp air. I love how people will stop and take a few minutes or a few dollars and help someone else this time of year. I love the lights – even the traffic lights seems a little brighter! I love the music (I’m listening to classical holiday music on AOL radio right now – The Cambridge Singers Go Tell It On The Mountain)

So this weekend I’m going to get some hot chocolate and some marshmallows, I’m going to bake some cookies, we’re going to get a tree and decorate, and either Sat or Sun night we’re going to go look at Christmas lights.

It’s all going to work out…¬† the office Christmas party, Christmas dinner, the tree and the surgery. I’m sure I’ll get stressed again – but so long as i remember my love for the holiday, it will all be ok!

December 6, 2010 / gracelesswonder

‘Tis the Season

I’m feeling awful grinch-y.

To be honest, I kind of feel like telling everyone to kiss my foot, then packing my bags and heading somewhere tropical with nary a Christmas light in sight.

Usually, I’m the kind of person that starts listening to Christmas music right after Halloween. I work at a Christmas store for pete’s sake.

I love the lights, the hustle and bustle, the cold crisp air, watching the kids sit on Santa’s lap.

This year, it seems to have waned.

I was so stoked to decorate this year – but money is tight. So what to do? Use savings? Skimp on the presents?

We’ve got other things we need… my husband’s car is having “issues” and he’s driving me nuts about it. He’s a car guy, I get it… but really? Now???

And I’m having some medical issues…. girlie stuff I’m sure no one wants to hear, but I just feel run down and blah.

The thought of cleaning my kitchen makes me queasy – much less cleaning it, then making cookies, then cleaning it again.

I’m frustrated w/ people in general. I feel like I could bite someones head off and spit the eyeballs back out at them.

Christmas-y, eh?

Hopefully it’s a phase, and I’ll be back to my spirited self in a few days.

November 29, 2010 / gracelesswonder

Thankful – and thankful it’s over!


‘scuse me while I sit down and catch my breath!¬† it’s been a looooooong couple weeks, and I barely know if I’m coming or going by now.

The insanity started two weeks ago when my mother in law came in for a visit, and didn’t give us much notice. So of course a marathon house cleaning session began immedietly after I got home from work and lasted till about 2am. She stayed for a couple days, and then it was time to prepare for Thanksgiving.

Ah, Thanksgiving.

Since we bought the house, and therefore have more space, we have become the hub for family gatherings. Generally, I don’t mind. I love to cook and I love to host (so long as people go home afterward).

After this fiasco, I’ve officially had enough.

I cooked and cleaned for 2 days straight. I spent a shitload of money at the grocery store. Let me run down everything I made:

  • pumkin dip
  • beef and onion dip
  • 25 lb turkey
  • home made stuffing
  • corn pudding
  • mashed potatoes
  • baked apples
  • deviled eggs
  • choc pecan pies
  • pumpkin cheesecake
  • cranberry apple crisp
  • gravy
  • rolls

we had about 12 people planned to come over – and I was banking on some serious leftovers (because face it, that’s the best part!)

If I was a real food blogger, I’d have recipes and process photos to document the occasion. Well, obviously I’m not. But I’ll say that even w/a few glitches everthing came out pretty well (and pretty much the same time!). Everyone was admiring the spread, and¬†getting ready to eat when a ¬†couple friends dropped by to say hello.

And here the drama begins.

Our friends had been there for just a few minutes, when my husband’s Aunt Barb starting complaining and saying “I’m getting ready to go ahead and eat!”

Our friends leave, we all eat like crazy, and as the cleaning up begins Barb breaks out not 1, not 2, no… not even 3 – but 5 (FIVE!) brand new tupperware containers to take home leftovers! She literally carved off the entire 2nd turkey breast and took it home with her. WTF?¬† Who does that?

Then, the coup de grace. My husband’s cousin (and Barb’s granddaughter) and her boyfriend backed into the neighbor’s mailbox and totally messed it up – and then promptly drove away and didn’t say a word.

As if that isn’t enough, when we couldn’t get in touch w/ Jennifer and the BF Jamey called Barb to see if they were close by (they left at about the same time). Barb’s other grandson answers the phone and says “Is this about the mailbox?” So obviously they knew about it too, and didn’t bother to say anything!

By this point, I was ready to lose my mind. How are you going to come into my home, eat the food I have been working on for days, take half of it home with you – and then not say a flippin WORD when your grandchild hits our neighbor’s mailbox and bails?!

I was so close to telling that whole family to kiss my butt!

I’ll tell you what. We won’t be having Christmas dinner at our house this year! That’s for damn sure!


::Deep breath::

So… now it’s Monday (Cyber Monday?) and it’s over. And I am supremely thankful. I’m thankful we had a good meal. I’m thankful my brother came into town and we could celebrate Thanksgiving together. I’m thankful for our home and our jobs that allowed us to host our family together. I’m thankful that there was enough to eat, and none of us have gone hungry this year. I’ve been very blessed, and I am thankful for everything I have, because I have always had enough.

And I am so Thankful it is over!

And I’m back on the diet this week. I got waaay off track earlier – if I was ever even on. But it’s a new day, a new meal, and a new chance to get it right!

November 16, 2010 / gracelesswonder

stressing out

Is it really only Tuesday? Lordy… this feels like a Thursday kind of headache.

Still working out the Thanksgiving plans. Not sure now if the Mother-in-Law is coming this weekend, or if they’ll make it for Thanksgiving after all. A couple other invitees are still iffy…¬†I’m getting the feeling¬†I won’t know till they show up. What to do? Prepare a shitload of food and hope enough people show up to eat most of it? Prepare for those I *know* are coming, and if you didn’t respond then¬†you’re SOL? Kind of hard to do that w/o looking like a bitch.

I’ve still got massive amounts of cleaning to do, trips to the grocery store, etc… and not a whole helluva lot of time to do it in.

I think it’s going to be a looooooooong week (and a half. Week and a half. Breathe. Breeeeeathe).

How about that diet? (it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change). Either way, I’m doing a pretty shoddy job of it. All’s well and good till I leave the confines of my cubicle. Then, my friends, we make a hard left into Crap City.

I think today I’m going to¬†swing by the grocery store (I need kitty litter and it’s on sale through tonight) and pick up some fruit and some 100 cal pack of crackers. I realized through WW that I’m one of those carb¬† people. I can eat lean meat by the pound and just never feel satisfied. Weird, huh?

So yeah, still trying to work this thing out… trying to balance hunger and time w/ smart choices. Trying to train my brain¬†NOT to¬†relinquish total control to my tummy just because food is within a 15′ radius.¬†

And, no idea what I’m doing for dinner. If things turn out badly when I (think) I have it planned, what’s going to happen when I don’t? Just got to remember…. if I’m going to eat crap (which will inevitably happen) need to keep the smaller portion sizes in mind!

It’s that damn forethought that will getcha every time.

November 16, 2010 / gracelesswonder

Meal Tracker 11/15/2010


  • Nutrigrain bar
  • coffee
  • ÔĽŅ


  • turkey on deli flat w/ light laughing cow cheese
  • tomato soup
  • ÔĽŅ


  • chicken pita snack from Jack-In-The-Box (which was not very snack sized)
  • 3 1/2 grilled chicken tenders from Jack-In-The-Box


  • TGIFriday’s 3 Course meal for $12.99: Fried Potstickers, Santa Fe Chopped Salad, and Vanilla Bean Cheesecake
  • ÔĽŅ

Thoughts On The Day

UGH! I am sucking at this!

  • I don’t know why I thought the pita snack thing at JITB would be small and somewhat healthy. It wasn’t that small, and had cheese and some sort of sauce. Good – but not good for you. Next time, nix the cheese and sauce
  • If I was going to get the pita snack, why’d I opt for the grilled chicken tenders, too? They were big (even big for ‘strips’) and not all that great. So why’d I eat most of it?
  • When we decided to go out to dinner when I got off work, why’d I go for the 3 course meal? Lord knows I didn’t need it. Should’ve just gone w/¬†a salad!

Getting kind of discouraged. Do so well during the day and f__ it all up at night. Tomorrow’s another day, right?

November 15, 2010 / gracelesswonder

it’s gonna be one of those days

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like your arrival should be forwarned by an announcement from the Emergency Broadcast System?

I’m having one of those days today. I can feel the irritation coursing through my veins like napalm. I’m ready to unleash my barely contained fury on whoever comes in my path with a sideways glance….

My co-worker called in sick, so I’m fending for myself today. I’ve got way to much shit to do, and people asking me for pointless random crap in the meantime. AND the chick behind me decided it would be cute to bring in Balut today.

What is Balut, you ask?

A balut is a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell. (Wikipedia

She’s been talking about this crap for weeks. She finds it entertaining to gross her co-workers out. I’m tempted to shove the damn Balut so far up her arse feathers will fly out her mouth when she talks. Apparently some dumb-ass here in the office has agreed to try one. If he hurls, I’m leaving for the day.

What else is going on? Well, in addition to my full time¬†job, I have to work my part time job tonight, tomorrow night, Thurs night, and then Saturday¬†and Sunday. And my mother in law decided this coming weekend would¬†be a great¬†time to visit.¬†When I have NO time to clean. And Thanksgiving is in a little over a week. And so is my husband’s birthday.

And the guy that is supposed to be¬†fixing the wood on the outside of the house is taking for¬†damn EVER. It was supposed to be done by¬†Halloween – now I’m¬†*hoping* it will be done by Thanksgiving.

I’m going to need some rum in my diet coke today. I can see that now.

November 15, 2010 / gracelesswonder

Meal Tracker 11/14/2010


  • 2 servings quick cooking grits with 1 wedge light laughing cow cheese (no additional butter)
  • light english muffin w/ approx 1tbsp butter
  • ÔĽŅ




  • approx 4 slices of pepperoni/mushroom pizza from Dominos
  • garlic dipping sauce (what the @#!^% was I thinking?)
  • approx 6 pieces leftover halloween candy
  • ÔĽŅ

Thoughts on the day

  • Didn’t I mention something about not eating everything slathered in cheese today? Obviously, that worked out really well. <rolls eyes>
  • I don’t think the day was a total bomb because I had a healthy breakfast (brunch?) and didn’t eat again till the pizza.
  • The pizza was a spur of the moment thing brought on by irritation. Hubby and I had a little spat, and since we ended up staying at home, I just randomly ordered pizza and didn’t think about what I was doing.